Bollywood – creating female stereotypes, one rom-com at a time

This feature originally appeared on Bollyspice.com. You can read the full post here.

I happened to watch Cocktail at an extremely crowded press plus crew plus family plus friends show. While you can read my official movie review, as I was thinking about the film some more I wanted to write about some of the other aspects that bothered me about Cocktail.  These  additional thoughts touch on some points I couldn’t include in a movie review and summarize howCocktail, which in my opinion could have been a good rom-com, was turned into a series of Bollywood’s formulaic clichés, so much so that the gloss and glycerine could give the Indian TV soaps a run for their money

I am tripping high on Veronica! Could do with another dose & bartender make that a double please!! #Cocktail @Deepikapadukone is HAWT & how!
— Pooja (@pooja1712) July 12, 2012

Alright then, moving on........


***Dont read further if you want to avoid spoilers***

Quick thoughts - Vicky Donor - Ayushmann Khurrana, Yami Gautam

In early March I attended the first look launch of this film. Understandably no-one had heard much about the movie which had completed shooting and was set for release a month later. New leads, one-film old director and a new actor-turned-producer taking on a eye batting topic of sperms and fertility, everyone quickly concluded it to be a sure-shot recipe for BO disaster. Solo take away from that event was the immense pride John Abraham's eyes glittered with; on his maiden venture as producer. Collectively the team was confident about the positive fate of the movie. Nonetheless, the promo received appreciation from the media invitees while the organisers happily obliged to the 'once-more' request. It was the beginning of something special.

Ek Main aur Ekk Tu

Joining the increasing list of remakes Dharma productions present ‘Ekk Main Aur Ekk Tu’ the self-proclaimed copy of its Hollywood borrowing ‘What happens in Vegas’.

Helmed by first time director Shakun Batra, it won’t take a genius to deduce that for a film named EMAET, premise is as simple as – boy meets girl, they laugh, cry and exchange life sermons. Add to that the film belongs to the new-age contemporary love story genre so we know that the boy will be as glum and the girl will be as gregarious as it gets. As soon as the characters are introduced, you immediately conclude that the first half will be been-there-done-that situations where gloominess bonds with gregariousness, the second half will see fights, misunderstandings, families, compromises, outbursts leaving just enough reels to roll up into its perfectly carved climax.

Movie Review - "Dum Maaro Dum" - 'Goa'ing HIGH ! !

An A-lister, A southern hottie (whom women are lusting after), a critically acclaimed supporting actor (who's become camera's darling), Hot-Bod in mini skirts, item song, sex, scandal and sea. All the ingredients perfectly picked to make a successful commercial MASALA flick. Can't possibly go wrong or CAN IT?

Dum Maaro Dum traces the lives of its three male leads, from three different strata, against the edgier side of the tourist hub otherwise portrayed famously for sunbathing and cocktail-sipping. DJ Joki (Rana Daggubati) hanging to the pasts of a failed relationship with girlfriend Zoe (Bipasha Basu), who bait the drug laden trap for greed of dollars and a high flying career. Joki doesn’t want history repeated and is determined to prove the innocence of Lori (Prateik) the scapegoat, caught in the rough of a failed drug-trade. Bad-cop turned-good ACP Vishnu Kamath (Abhishek) is on a mission to clean up ‘Drugs Ka Disneyland’ Goa. On suspicion is businessman-cum-philanthropist Lorsa Bisquita aka “Biscuit” (Aditya Pancholi) who is known to have Goa-vaasi’s in his pocket. Not enough as there’s a Godfather of drug traders (Micheal Barbossa) lurking in the shadows. The mystery – Who is Micheal Barbossa? The goal - Pin the drug-king!

Movie Review - Dhobi Ghat *Prateik Babbar, Monica Dogra, Kriti Malhotra, Aamir Khan

Without preaching too much about how Dhobi Ghat isn’t your regular popcorn cinema but rather arthouse/documentary/world cinema (papers/news/ have told and retold this line a gazillion times by now), let me just get straight to the point. 

Which is - Dhobi Ghat or ‘Mumbai Diaries’ (the English title) as I prefer to call it, is not an ode to the city but rather a compelling compilation of the lives of the city-dwellers while the city itself sits by the edge, encompassing all those who want to soak in its curses as well as blessings.

Movie Review - Turning 30 ! ! * Gul Panag , Purab Kohli

Take a walk in any metro of the country and you will come across gazillions of single, career-minded independent women who despite being on the wrong side of 29, inching slowly towards the dreaded 3-0, seem to be taking life in their stride, unabashed by the sneers of the nosy aunt in the neighborhood.

Whoever said ‘30 is the new 20’, definitely knew what she was talking about, because in the 21^st era, life of a single-30-year old isn’t a big taboo. Offcourse there are social & emotional pressures but camouflaged by self aspirations, supportive friends & family, a couple of years can be easily bargained for.

Starring Gul Panag, Purab Kohli, ‘Turning 30’ is Naina’s journey as she grapples through life in the face of her 30^th birthday. Does Director Alankrita succumb to glossy filmy affair or does she manage to deliver coming-of-age cinema?

Movie Review - Band Baaja Baaraat * Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh

Beginning of 2010 saw Yash Raj films branching out onto the small screen with couple of television series aiming for wholesome family entertainment. One of the ventures, Rishta.com was about two college friends played by Shruti Seth & Kavi Shastri, who come together to start a matrimonial agency. As two individuals with contrasting personalities, the serial attempted to highlight the chronicles, nuances of new-age relationships and the concept of the age-old matchmaking/arranged marriages in a humorous albeit honest way. The series worked favorably, captured prime-time slots on Sony channel and Isha, Rohan became household names, youth icons. When the series reached its finale, disappointed fans drew out petitions to continue the show & if reports are to be believed plans for season 2 are in place.

However, in the interim, creative’s at YRF worked on the same context, took it to the big screen and presented ‘Band Baaja Baaraat’. So does the big screen output impress me just as much?

Movie Review - Action Replay * Aishwarya, Akshay Kumar ' All noise, no action, trying to find the fastforward button'

All of us at some point of time have wished we could go back in time and change a thing or two about our life. Well, mercy be, Action Replayy takes the liberty of fantasizing just that. Having seen some very fine films of this director and especially considering that most involved his amazing chemistry with his lead-in-many-films Akshay, it didn’t take a lot for this film to get a average opening (despite not having to many pre-release marketing/promotions). Although I was hugely wary about viewing this one as I didn’t find any aspect of it remotely appealing, I went for it nonetheless expecting at least a decent watchable fare.

First up – let’s try to connect the dots of the scattered beads like plot – In one line – an adolescent son (in 2010) travels back 40 odd years, to his parent’s youth (read 70’s), to correct his parents past, so as to set things right in the present (2010). Did I lose you already?! Read further.

Bunty (Aditya Kapoor) flees at the idea of marriage with girlfriend Tania, blaming it on his experience of the failing marriage of his parents Kishan (Akshay) & Mala (Aishwarya). Unable to take his parents sparring at their 35th anniversary (YUPP! why they are still together is beyond anyone’s comprehension), Bunty decides to travel back in time to the beginning of the Kishen-Mala ki LOVE ishtory and make an attempt to rewrite it. (Brain boggles!!) His timing of thought couldn’t have been more perfect as Tanya's grandfather; Professor Gonsalves (Randhir Kapoor) has invented a time machine (gaudier than LS2050) to transport Bunty into the past. Zoom, boom, kaboom, Bunty is now in the 70’s playing Love guru to help PAA patao MAA (trauma! trauma!!!!)

Everything about Action Replayy spews failure. Firstly the concept of time travel which as it is, is not accepted elatedly requires strong background, story or rationale for the audience to be able to connect to it. ALL of it is lacking in this one. Moreover, the basic premise of the movie as mentioned in one line earlier is impossible to register, relate with. The humor track tries very hard at being haha but except from evoking a couple of smiles (mostly sarcasm or frustration) it comes across as amateurish and superfluous. Ironically, leads on whom the project was spotlighted and promoted have very little to do, besides wheezing through song dances in polkas, bell bottoms and caricatured hairdo’s on hills, carnivals & under shiny disco balls in front of CST (?!?!)

In all, Vipul Shah’s Action Replayy is completely deprived of comprehensible screenplay (let me not even go into intelligence), humour, authenticity to the setup or any other ingredients required to make a film. The loud colours, fancy (bordering on garish) getups do nothing to lift the characters or their acts. The recent flicks OATM and OSO did a greater job at depicting the gone-by eras with far more subtleness and restraint. Here they all look pretty, happy, slightly visually appealing in patches, but sadly abandoned by everyone from the dialogue to the art to the music department.

At the end of it, I wished I want to borrow that time machine, take the film’s tagline ‘REWIND YOUR LIFE’ very seriously and go back in time – just a couple of hrs!

Phukat ka advice: AVOID at all costs. Go next door for Golmaal 3 instead. Atleast it guarantees few laughs of its own.

Movie Review - Golmaal 3 * Ajay Devgn, Kareena, Arshad Warsi, Tusshar, Shreyas Talpade, Kunal Khemu

Golmaal is clearly a brand of sorts and after the curtains close on the third leg of the triology, there’s no guarantee that this is probably the last and you wont be seeing any more of it! Naturally after two successes, the third one carries the weight of expectations especially since it’s the festive season and people would want their time and money’s worth at this now more than ever.

 

Geeta aka Guddi (Ratna Pathak) & Pritam (Mithun Chakraborty) wish to rekindle their old relationship and are persuaded to enter into marital bliss by Ajay’s girlfriend Daboo (Kareena). This brings the two families under one roof i.e. Geeta’s children Gopal (Ajay), Laxman (Shreyas) & Pritam’s trio – Madhav (Arshad), Lucky (Tusshar) & Laxman (Kunal Khemu). The problem is the two groups detest each other (why? I don’t know – didn’t bother either) and are set to make life living hell for the other! Then there is a case of missing necklace being hunted by short-term-memory-loss goon Puppy (Johnny Lever) his sidekicks Vrajesh Hirjee, Sanjay Mishra. 

And thus begins the third-go-round, of mass-entertainment laughathons where comedy is the only serious business and all logic and rationale (that never was) is not bothered with.

Whats Good: Where the first two editions had 4-5 main characters enough to fill a frame, this one goes notches higher by using 8 lead characters, yet intelligently etching them out to give everyone equal due. Director Rohit Shetty gets full points here, in not letting any actor be a mere prop and giving each of them signifcant showreels. The performance of all actors are subdued, perfect but special mentions to Kareena Kapoor who commands her place among the band of boys, Kunal Khemu, the newbie to the franchise, who fits in comfortably and Sanjay Mishra, who grabs spotlights despite being a peripheral player.

Whats Bad: A scriptless movie works, if the treatment is novel. G3 does nothing new and you will be face-to-face with a lot of recall moments from G1 & G2. So you have it all, flashy colurful carnival-ish lead entries, cars collisions, witless gangsters, inspectors, side-kicks, finale with a comical get-together and even the set looks familiar if I may add so. Small bits of editing could have helped, also the stunts get a little repititive and arent fun anymore.

Where the movie is lost in narration, it gains agreeably with its bucket of jibes, gags and spoofs. (There are times you laugh at the most cliched ones just for the way they are played on screen)

On the whole, Golmaal 3 has its share of hits and misses. Despite its plot being vaguely different from its predecessors, G3 starts & ends on similar styles that Rohit Shetty is accustomed to and sticks to it earnestly. Compared to the previous films, this does have an extra dose of indistinct abuses and suggestive sequences which may not sit well with families. Nonetheless, Golmaal as promised is a light package of merriment & humour that blends in with the mood of the festivities. Sharp dialogues, strong ensemble and patches of fun make Golmaal a decent watch for the holidays.

Movie Review - Jhootha Hi Sahi *John Abraham , Pakhi

Those who read my reviews regularly, would vouch that Im rarely harsh about a movie and there has hardly been an instance where I have been unsuccessful in finding atleast one bright spot in the most terrible film. Otherwise, I merely refrain from writing about it. Sadly, that resolve breaks with ‘Jhootha Hi Sahi’ and I have to say, this has to be one of the extremely distasteful movie of the year.

We have Sid (John Abraham), Pakistani friend Omar (Raghu Ram of Roadies fame) running a bookshop in London named 'Kagaz Ke Phool’. Sid’s number gets mixed up with that of a suicide helpline and instead of getting it fixed, he voluntarily agrees to provide consultations to bunch of callers with suicidal tendencies. Whilst not getting into the legalities of having permissions or expertise of the profession, let me also mention here that the helpline is again purely DESI and for desi’s! Anyhow, as fate would have it, our heroine Mishka (Pakhi) calls in wanting to be talked out of ending her life and in true Bollywood romantic flicks style, our hero falls for her. 

Yes, couple of reels later Sid bumps into her when she visits his bookstore. However, see the twist is, Sid knows Mishka as his desperate-advise-seeking-caller, but Mishka doesn’t know Sid as her (k)night-in-phone-friend. Yet Sid won’t reveal the big mystery right away, because he is shy around beautiful girls (though he has a stunner of a girlfriend). He’ll just play along, spend sleepless nights being agony-aunt, and hope someday the truth will be out and everyone will live happily ever after, while his friends muse ‘Tu usse sach kab bata raha hai’. Now where have I heard this one before – Saajan, Aur Pyaar ho gaya, Rehna hai tere dil mein maybe? Then there’s the whole set of friends-clones with their set of problems or so made to be.

Despite it being inspired or borrowed or whatever, the story is quite an interesting one and so it’s disheartening that a fairly horizontal plot with a strong promise just fails to be. There’s clear lack of direction and screenplay is scattered all over the place. Add to it, the slow pace and the fact that the other supporting roles aren’t flawless either, do not help. Like why is the pregnant sister refusing to marry her loving boyfriend is one of the example of the many poorly etched characters.

Mistake 1: It’s sinful to pick up bunch of references from MUCH-LOVED Hollywood movies/sitcoms and try to desi-fy them with absolutely nil depth or direction or creativity.

Mistake 2: and top it with a setting that is a foreign land (and characters have no trace of Brit-accent??).

Mistake 3: You just don’t cast for the sake of making a film or pleasing your loved ones, there has to be some connect somewhere. Or atleast screen presence. Or atleast chemistry. Or atleast acting capability. Not too much to ask, is it?

Mistake 4: You don’t put together dysfunctional cast with attributes like nerd, Japanese (?!), alter-ego, gay, Asian, and then provide absolutely no track, justification, or history behind them. It’s neither cute nor funny!

Mistake 5: You don’t cast actors like Madhavan in insignificant roles that even out-of-work actors would refuse.

And with that I hardly have anything more to say about this disaster of a movie. I am greatly disappointed and hoping that John tries to redeem himself from yet another blotch to his filmography and sticks to movies like Dostana. He was good in the movie, and so he was in Aashayein too, but when the plot is this flawed, there is no scope for anyone to add any points to his career graph with such a film.

Verdict: JHS should be rechristened ‘‘X ways to bungle up a film’’ and be used as a case-study in schools for ‘upcoming directors/scriptwriters’ as an example of what you should absolutely NOT DO while making/writing a film.

P:S: I have deliberately steered clear from any mention of ‘Jaane tu…’ because any comparisons with that movie are futile.

Movie Review - Robot 'Double Rajinikanth Mazaa' * Rajinikanth, Aishwarya Rai

When Rajinikanth hits the screens, the audience is divided into 2 extreme groups – one who tease his comic hyperbole, forward jokes about superstar’s antics, and can’t seem to understand what the fuss around him is about. For the others, the man is a humble star or a demi-god like no other – an entertainer who despite his age maintains his mass appeal across generations, is versatile and they worship him. While, Twitter, Facebook are buzzing with all the ‘rocking’s, ‘awesome’s, and ‘taali-seeti’s in praise of the movie, theatres in most parts of the globe are celebrating and how!

It’s usually a writer’s tendency, to pen down anything that has been observed/seen/heard almost immediately. I do that too. Thoughts are fresh; words come easily, analyzing becomes a comparatively effortless task. When I stepped out of the theatre after watching Robot, my mind was swarming with endless thoughts and excitement. I could not stop gushing to anyone who cared to listen about the amazing 3 hrs I had spent in probably my most rewarding theatre visit till date. I felt a mix of emotions – exhilaration for having had a fantastic movie experience, satisfaction for walking out minus the feeling of being cheated, admiration for Shankar’s vision and ambition but largely, pride for being a part of the Indian cinema, which can finally boast of a befitting reply to movies from western counterparts.

Dr Vaseegaran (Rajinikanth), builds an andro-humanoid robot Chitti (Rajnikant) with an objective to help the Indian Army. Chitti is programmed to fight, dance, speak, learn, teach and do most things that humans can but with an unexplainable speed. However, his creation is rejected by boss Dr. Bohra (Danny Dangzongpa) blaming Chitti’s failure to deal with emotions. Vasi upgrades Chitti's to imitate emotions, not realizing Chitti’s first attraction and infatuation will be for Vasi's girlfriend Sana (Aishwarya Rai). When Chitti’s feelings are not reciprocated by Sana who considers him as a ‘toy-friend’, he is overcome with jealousy pangs and vengeance, turning him into a violent mayhem. Can he be stopped? It’s for you to watch!
Simply put, Robot is by far the most entertaining film to have been made in India. It’s the perfect example of a good, blend of histrionics, emotions, action, drama. It’s a deadly combination of the biggest superstar Rajinikanth, world beauty Aishwarya, big fat budget rightly justified by the visual effects with an Indian tag.  Despite its extensive use of effects, it doesn’t feel animated, never gets too intense and has a little bit of every genre thrown in for the Indian appetite. Yes, the film could have done with editing of a couple songs and scenes to make it crisper, but a substantial part of the film does command a second dekho.

The star Rajini sir, praising him is a literal case of ‘choti mooh badi baat’. He jumps, swivels, romances, fights, and never ceases to amaze. He is subtle and explosive in balanced measures for which the partial credit also goes to Director Shankar for playing the cards of direction and screenplay perfectly. Watch out for his scene when Chitti is looking at his image in the mirror with a straight face, and then suddenly breaks into the meanest laugh. You get goose bumps and that’s the effect of the superstar. Aishwarya does what she does best – looking dolled up, sadly for the Hindi audience, the translations, dialogues does make it a little heavier, the original ‘Endhiran’ obviously getting brownie points here. An aspect that seemed very doubtful to me in the promos, the camaraderie between the leads is near perfect, not OTT, just soft and works. The supporting cast of Danny is effective, the rest are played ably. Rathnavelu’s camera effect is superlative; songs shot in exotic locales add the additional zest. Sabu Cyril’s art design is highly commendable.

Finally, ROBOT is a celebration of larger-than-life extravaganza called RAJINIKANTH. If you thought he was glorified for his sunglass, cigarette gimmicks, punch dialogues, and other unfathomable stunts, watch ROBOT to discover that there is more to the actor than just stunts. You won’t be disappointed.
Verdict: I don’t need to tell a Rajini fan to watch the movie. If you’re not a Rajini Fan, consider going for this one. You might just convert after watching Robot.

On second thoughts: Can we have 1st October declared as ‘RAJINI ‘ROBOT’ DAY’ already?!

Review 'We are Family' -'kyunki Dharma bhi kabhi acchi picture banata tha!'

Bollywood continues its tryst of adopting firangi scripts adding desi garam masala to satiate the supposedly naive Indian audience (or is it the NRI segment) and then proudly walk an international carpet as an ambassador for Indian cinema. Blah! Let me make it clear – I don’t have any issues with remakes. Some of the adapted works are truly commendable. What I do detest is filmmakers choosing an Indian family, adding Indian sentiments, tailoring it to fit Indian sensibilities and then giving them a firang setting. Why couldn’t the family reside in Indian metropolis? Do we not have the visual allure? Blasphemous! 

Anyhoo… Another week, another remake. Only this one screams, stamps, legitimate, permissions et al.

Johar & co. finally bored, rid of the copious NY setting (or possibly USA took offence & refused to let them shoot there anymore). So this time we move to another continent of sun & sand where resides Aman (Arjun Rampal) & Maya (Kajol) with their kids Aaleya , Ankush and Anjali. Add to it Dharma’s favourite ingredients of now hot-now cold relationships, extra marital affair, adjusting to daddy’s new life, oops!-wala  sudden medical diagnosis, and the audience is taken through a square four sided love-hate tale to an ending so appalling that you want to say ‘picture abhi baaki nahi honi chahiye’.

The mood is glum, ‘I don’t want to die’ is the mantra of the dying mum but because it’s a movie out of KJO’s stable, glam dikhna or elvis ishtyle dance karna toh banta hai boss. 

Just because they credit the film to its original Chris Columbus' Stepmom (1998) Scriptwriter Venita Coelho (why did the movie need one anyways?) & debutant director Siddharth Malhotra (offcourse he assisted Karan during his heydays! How else would he get the right to dish such absurd stuff?!?) refuse to let audience indulge in brain teasers of any sort. The entire film from the word go is lifted scene-by-scene, laid down on a golden platter with nothing new to boast of. Copied scenes (oops sorry adapted) in the film are countless and in your face every time you turn around, which makes you feel bored and edgy because its predictable which path the film is going. By the time the film staggers to a melodramatic a la Ekta Kapoor style ending, you steal a quick glance at your watch wondering how many years actually passed away. Booo-ringgg!

Yes, the performances border on the thin line tilting towards good, but the treatment of the subject is devoid of any warmth, which doesn’t arouse any compassion or interest at all. Moreover, if you thought that wasn’t enough, Iyengar’s corny dialogues laced with Karan Johar’s artificial sweetener touches is the final recipe for doom. OUCH!

Pray do tell - what exactly is Siddharth Malhotra’s idea of family?!? Obviously, he wasn’t considering the audience as a part of it.

Verdict: For those who have watched Stepmom, stay AWAY from this one.

For those who haven’t seen stepmom, stay away as well. Catch any of the saas-bahu epi’s or go watch ‘Kal Ho Naa Ho’ just for SRK’s ‘I am dying of cancer but won’t let its fear kill me’.

On second thoughts – What is with all our filmmakers wanting to kill the leads with the dreaded C-word.. Haven’t they met/heard about survivors Lisa Ray, Barbara Mori?! Among the other millions who fight it every day.

Movie Review: Aashayein 'lost all hopes'

Before I begin my take on Aashayein, I have a small confession - I have seen almost all of the 30+ movies (theatre/small screen) that John Abraham’s filmography boasts of. Not because I believe he is a terrific actor (which he is not!) or someone who’s acting prowess I admire (he has his good moments but has a long way to go). The truth is that I have a special soft corner for John (and Ritesh) because we share birthdates. Therefore, I am a JA loyalist and despite his average performances, will continue to be one. However, for the benefit of my 10-odd loyal readers, I am going to be completely unbiased and write an upright review of the film.

For director Nagesh Kukunoor, it has mostly been about realistic cinema. Stories you hear in neighborhoods, human tales you empathize with and news you read in dailies. Luckily, for him, audiences are in the day and age, caught between OTT popcorn productions and illogical condescending potboilers with nothing to fill the void. Films with a humor-laced message like Peepli, Udaan, are more acceptable today than ever. With Aashayein, does the engineer-turned-filmmaker manage to keep his art intact after Hyderabad Blues, Iqbal and Dor or does he fall prey to the commercial masala demands of the masses. Read further to find out.

Meet gambling addict (we hardly get to see his obsession) and chain smoker Rahul Sharma (John Abraham) and girlfriend Nafisa (Sonal Sehgal). One gambling win and a proposal later, Rahul slumps to the floor at a party amidst laughter and conversations. Diagnosis reveal that Rahul is suffering from lung cancer and has only few months to live. After a few mockery, rain sprinting and understandably piteous moments, Rahul decides to move into a hospice breaking all ties with Nafisa and the world in general.

In the hospice, Rahul meets a mixed bag of characters - Padma (Anaitha Nair), Madhu (Farida Jalal), Parthasarthi (Girish Karnad), Govinda (Ashwin Chitale) all having a common purpose among them - to make the most of their remaining days.

I am not being bias, but genuinely, John Abraham has put in probably the best/toughest show of his career. He is intense, distinguishes well between all his relationships, emotes and justifies the role largely to an extent that there are some scenes, wherein you forget John, the Bollywood star and only sympathize with Rahul. Undoubtedly, the bright star of the film is Anaitha, whose eccentric ways strike a lovable chord. Anaitha does an extraordinary act of the estranged cancer patient, a fine supporting act.

The idea is noble, the subject is right; the casting of the leads and more importantly the supporting acts is satisfactory. However, despite all this, the script falters in a major way influencing the entire outcome. The incorrect mix of art and commercial cinema is one of the key weaknesses. The filmmaker intends to put across many ideologies, but trying to fit everything in, he misses the key essence and lacks compassion.

For a film with a sensitive topic around the much-dreaded C-word, there are hardly any tear-jerking, hearts wrenching scenes. Emotions are over quicker than the credit roll and the story hardly manages to leave an impact.

Aashayein starts favorably, but post the first half; it collapses like a pack of cards, owing to directionless story and venturing into sub-plots hardly relevant to the narrative. Nagesh plays a solid part of trying to steer his messy storyline, but with an added highly amateurish ending, the film will hardly manage any hopes for itself.

Verdict: the only ‘Asha’ this film could hold is hopefully for John’s career, as the actor has managed to draw some fabulous scenes to his credit.

On second thoughts: most films these days are boasting of better performances from supporting casts rather than the leads. About time, Bollywood cashes in on these small actors rather than chasing big names.

Lafangey Parindey: for the free spirit inside all of us.!

From charms of Kolkatta in Parineeta, to the warm visuals of Varanasi in Laga Chunari mein Daag, Director Pradeep Sarkar next Lafangey Parindey, moves to the Mumbai gallis (streets). Where matchbox sized flats stand side by side to sprawling towers, dandiya is celebrated with, as much gusto as govinda dance during Ganpati festivals and dreams are bigger than the pockets.

In a chawl in the bylanes of Mumbai resides Nandan Kamtekar aka one-shot-nandu (Neil NM) and his gang of loafers, who going by Mumbai’s tapori reputation, ride bikes into the dark night, speak Mumbaiyaa slang and wile away time playing carrom or throwing random digs at passer-bys. When not diddling-dawdling around, Nandan wins fights in a boxing ring for bets put by boss Usmaan bhai (Piyush Mishra) (reference check: Salman in Karan Arjun). Nandu’s USP – he fights blindfolded and can take down his strongest opponent with a single blow (that’s why the nickname, for all those who didn’t put it together yet!). Among the lafangeys, lives Pinky Palkar (Deepika Padukone), a free spirited chic co-basti-walli, who lives small, dreams big and aims to win a talent competition as her exit route from the chawl’s humble existence. Working in a shop, she dances on rollerskates like a doll in a music box.

Couple of reels later an accident brings Nandan and Pinky together. Dreams that come crashing down, destinies that are rewritten and odds that are fought together form the remaining story of Lafangey Parindey.

Both leads, whose histrionic skills are questionable, put in engaging performances. Deepika Padukone’s act is effortless. While she is extremely graceful in her dance sequences, she exudes intense confidence as the strongwilled optimist. Neil’s restrained act complements chemistry with Deepika beautifully. Unfortunately, his looks impede the realism as he does not fit into the chawl class at all. No amount of tattered wardrobe and fake blood veil Neil’s golden locks and fair rose complexion. Body language is spot on, body features sadly fail. The scenes where he fights his inner conflicts, initial feelings for lady-love and emotions shown through eyes are the mark of a very promising actor.

Music by R. Anandh, lines by Swanand Kirkire, songs ‘mann lafanga’, ‘dhatad tatad’ are contagious to any true-blue matki-phod mumbaikar.

The biggest strength of the film undoubtedly lies in Gopi Puthran’s simple storytelling. The narrative maintains its horizontal plane with enough twists suitable to its theme, but luckily does not venture the path of unwanted characters and redundant sub-plots.

Hiccups? Yes, heaps of them. Lafangey Parindey is neither a winner nor a loser. The substance is raw, similarities are many, and story is as predictable as it gets, yet between the flaws and grinds is an earnest youthful resonance and a wholesome human experience that celebrates the spirits of underdogs who are down in dust but don’t give up.

Watch it if you can digest a pure masala movie without getting extremely judgemental or making parallels with any other film.

Watch it if you’re a fan of Ms.D, pink-cheek Neil or Pradeep Sarkar.

However, moreso, Watch it because it is an inspirational and poignant tale of any third person amongst us.

Movie Review: Peepli (Live) – ‘SANSANI Khabar’ at its best! !

Undoubtedly, one of the year’s anticipated flicks, Peepli Live has already bagged its first recognition by winning the Best First Feature Film award at the Durban International Film Festival. At the helm of this satire-marries-pragmatism film, Aamir Khan dons the producer’s hat, allowing debutant director Anusha Rizvi (NDTV ex-journalist) to take charge of the film, which is a take on the role of government and media in farmer suicides that have been plaguing the country over the past decade.

After the ‘Peepli Live’ special screening for cast & crew held earlier this week, Salman Khan didn’t allow Aamir Khan to touch him. His reason? - He was afraid that he would turn into gold, as he believes Aamir possesses the ‘Midas touch’. By no chance can we disagree with Salman. Gold? Not so sure, but Aamir’s touch sure holds the ‘movie hit karne ka formula’!

2007 – Taare Zameen Par, 2008 – Ghajini, 2009 – 3 Idiots, for the past few years, Aamir Khan has set trends, broken records, given Bollywood cinema a new dimension. When filmmakers were going full-on commercial and skeptical about dabbling in untrodden subjects, Aamir Khan boldly played and received acclaims for real-life subjects like education system, parental sensibilities etc. Be it in front of the camera or behind (in the capacity of producer), Aamir’s films are a great example of the perfect blend of masala and a thought-provoking message. His most awaited film, Peepli (Live) is no exception to this rule.

Set in a small village in rural India, Peepli Live is a candid narrative of farmers Natha (Omkar Manikpuri) & older (more crafty) brother Budhia (Raghubir Yadav) who are deep-neck in debts, whose land is to be auctioned, owing to an unpaid loan. The only way out as Natha & Budhia see is a government plan, which provides monetary compensation to dependants of farmers, who commit suicide. While Natha is still contemplating, his mother (Farrukh Jaffer) & wife (Shalini Vatsal) indulge in their routine saas-bahu squabbles; his son pesters him to go ahead with the suicide, so he can work his dream of becoming a policeman with the money.  Before Natha can give his plan an outcome, word spreads & news channels come sniffing for what we know in this age as ‘Breaking News’. With elections in the offing, and media swooping in, netas, political parties and bigwigs all jump in to get their share of limelight and fill vote banks. While Natha wants to escape all the hoopla surrounding his life (or death), sleepy Peepli is caught in a 24/7 frenzy transforming it into the great Indian TAMASHA (with mela and all)!

Will he, won’t he?; while the viewers stay glued to the TV sets, forms the remainder plot.

Caught in the chronicles of Natha’s life is ambitious television reporter Nandita Mallik (Malaika Shenoy), shrewd minister (Naseerudin shah) conniving CM (Yugal Kishore), local journalist Rakesh (Nawazuddin Siddiqui), among the many other intriguing characters.

Debutant director Anusha Rizvi and co-director Mahmood Farooqui have done a spectacular job at working a script as delicate as Peepli Live. Farmer suicides are a huge cause of concern and sensitive to the millions who live thru it, yet treatment of the subject highlights immense research, maturity and empathy on the filmmakers’ side. Cinematography and art direction are perfectly synchronized to the theme. Dialogues are astute, in equal doses thus never going overboard in the gamut of emotions.

Needless to say, all the characters put in genuine acts, totally enjoyable, don’t emulate or mimic, and refreshingly don’t try too hard. The entire cast right from the protagonist to the supporting are superlative. Theatre experience is distinctive and prominent in the performances of Omkar Manikpuri & Raghubir Yadav who completely shine throughout as the distraught hapless class of people caught in the socio-economic circus. Malaika Shenoy and Nawazudin as reporters are apt, bring confidence and subtlety to their roles. But my hot favorite is Farrukh Jaffer as ‘Amma’ – brilliantly charming, powerful delivery, highly commendable.

A few minutes into the film, the narrative is as engrossing or entertaining as watching the live late-night news broadcast. While we have been witness to many films’ unraveling the scheming minds of unscrupulous politicians, the manner in which the film explores the inappropriate behavior of the media is truly remarkable and a major triumph. Yes, the film does tend to be slow and repetitive at points, and the film does not have many LOL moments or love angles, but the overall narrative is tight and smart. There are chances that the film’s biggest advantages (simplistic approach and cast) would turn out to be a disadvantage as urban cinegoers still prefer light-weight comedies and rom-coms with heavy duty star casts.  

Peepli Live is a film with an earnest message, approach and story and it certainly deserves its place at the box office. This film further strenghtens the fact that content is king and you don't need big names to make a good film. Recommended.

'A raw dish' - Khatta Meetha Movie review

A concoction of all Priyadarshan movie elements – the rural village backdrop, huge palatial bungalow, a satyawadi father (Kulbhushan Kharbanda), an aam aadmi, his loyal sidekick, hordes of poorly baked characters (with zilch rhyme or reason), their big dreams and bigger problems (for the audience as well).

Sachin Tichkule (Akshay Kumar), a small-time sincere road contractor (who sports RayBan glares BTW), determined to make his name in a society that is heavily marred with corrupt babu’s (including his brothers), who get their way by greasing a few palms. Running out of money and not bagging anything worthwhile in return, Kumar is compelled to shed his Gandhian virtues and walk the path of under-the-table scheming-dealings to bag a project where he can prove himself. To his dismay, enters ex-girlfriend Gehna Ganphule (Trish Krishnan), an uptight no-nonsense ‘sarkari’ madam who shoves Kumar around before falling for his charms (Yeh Bollywood hai remember!!). A quick flashback is squeezed in to show why Trisha loathes Kumar. Sachin Tichkule’s adventures with the bribe-backed system, sprinkled with issues of collapsing bridges, pot-holed roads and relationships with family, co-workers forms the plot or whatever is left of it.

Firstly, whoever classified this movie as a comedy needs a humour check asap. Remaking his own 1988 Malayalam movie, “Vellanakalude Naadu”, Priyadarshan and team probably didn’t contemplate that the two decades gap would have a devastating effect on the age-old tricks and jokes, which were an entertaining watch then but don’t make for audience appeal now. At bullock-cart gait, the plot crawls mercilessly with the umbrella-jhola toting Kumar making a mish-mash of any trivial job there is. The story scampers into just as many subplots without connecting anywhere appearing disheveled.

Akshay Kumar, being the director’s actor that he is, tries very hard but is unable to shift the glaring spotlight from the script, which is weak and overflows with unwanted melodrama. Trisha lacks screen presence and just about manages but fails to stand up to Akshay’s compelling act.

Yes, there are some forsaken gags, and at times Kumar’s rant about the common mans’ struggle and woes makes you relate and empathize. But on a parallel plate, there are too many ughh moments in the film – the blame-game with the driver, the sister’s (Urvashi Sharma) sexual violence and death, some bland bathroom scenes, all make up for a nauseating watch without any disclaimers to alert you in advance. To add to the trauma, there are some sing-songs, which just jump out at the worst possible reels in the film. Another culprit that adds to the unbearable viewing of this film is the length of around 2:40, which is a tad too long for a narrative that goes from ok to bad to worse by the time the curtains come down.

Quick take: Khatta-Meetha is a recipe gone horribly wrong, unsavory blend of all ingredients sweet and spice, leaves a sour taste in the end.

Tere Bin Laden - Movie Review * Ali Zafar

Osama Bin Laden - the name is associated with terror; hijack; fear; killings but not this one. Tere Bin Laden takes the most controversial name in the history of global terrorism and flips it into a rip-roaring comedy that is going to have you rolling with uncontrollable laughter. 

All Ali Hassan (Ali Zafar) wanted was an entry into Amreeka which for him spelt the path of serious career and the league of big bucks. He was almost there, had it not been for the split-second misunderstanding aboard his Karachi-America flight. He innocently picked up a knife dropped by the airhostess; she panics, rings the hijacker bells and Ali is deported. Any post attempts by Ali to get a visa are rejected. Yet years later, Ali is stuck-for-good in Karachi, employed by a shady news channel run by Majeed Khan (Piyush Mishra), covering frivolous news, but not ready to give up on his big dreams. Single option is a local travel agent (Rajendra Sethi), who demands lofty sums of money in exchange for the desirable entry to US. While Ali ponders over raising the money, luck comes calling his way in the form of Noora (Pradhuman Singh), a poultry breeder, who bears an eerie physical similarity to Osama. Ali with the help of his loyal sidekick cameraman Gul (Nikhil Ratnaparkhi) develops a plot to tape a fake Osama video and barter it with media channels for money. Supporting them in this swindle are makeup artist Zoya (Sugandha Garg), dubbing artist Qureshi (Rahul Singh), an Arabic scriptwriter (Chirag Vohra), but the toughest challenge remains to get Noora to enact Osama!

Will Ali pull it off and fulfill his Amreekan wish without ruffling any major political or criminal feathers, forms the backbone of the film.

Debutant director/writer Abhishek Sharma has put together a simple story, which is neat and seamless. Sharp dialogues, uproarious one-liners, lean character sketches, keeping the sensibilities primed are the USP’s of this comic caper. Abhishek does complete justice to the subject by his astute direction. Every minuscule aspect ranging from the language, voice-overs, tones, looks and costumes, sets is accurate and along with the translucent narration culminates into a good film. Santosh Thundiyil's cinematography is on par. Musical contributions by the genius trio Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy have already received their due.

Casting is undoubtedly the trump card of the film. No particular actor can be singled out as every character has been defined perfectly and leveraged upon. Performances by every one in the film are par excellence. Ali Zafar, the singer-actor, who is already being touted as the next big thing puts in an open performance. His portrayal of the ambitious and desperate journo is easy on the eyes, coupled with good looks and confidence takes the act a notch further. Pradhuman Singh is the cherry on the cake and scene-stealer hands-down. His dual roles as the naïve Noora and spiteful Osama on film are mature, confident and riveting. His act is strappingly compelling, so much so that you want to sympathize his innocence in one scene and subsequently smack him for his idiosyncrasy in the next. Piyush Mishra as Majeed, the miserly owner of the news channel is exceptional, as are the rest of the cast who fit into their roles comfortably.

It’s refreshing to see Bollywood coming out of hairbrained so-called comedies and experimenting with subjects and genres that are fresh, in sync with times and thought-provoking. Tere Bin Laden is a comical look at the American government’s mindset about Pakistan, Osama, Taliban and its likes. The film has its heart in the right place. The running length of around 100 minutes is perfect. What provides the edge is that the movie indulges in endless LOL moments without treading the path of silly gags, gay jokes, gibberish storylines, 8-pack abs & unwanted song/dance sequences.

On second thoughts: I’m tempted to know the real Osama’s reaction if he chances to see what Noora has done to his grim image.

Final Take: Tere Bin Laden is pure harmless fun.

'I Hate Luv Storys' - Movie Review "New wine in old bottle"

Love them or hate them, Love stories make the world go round. Although new-age cinema is experimenting with genres from politics to terrorism to religion, Bollywood will always be associated with sugar-coated romantic flicks. As much as we hate to admit, at the end of the day, a true blue Bollywood aficionado still counts DDLJ, Lamhe, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai amongst the ultimate Bollywood films.

And taking it some steps further, Punit Malhotra in his directorial venture attempts a story-telling using a collage of yester-year classics adorned with ‘been-there-done-that’ formulas of snow-capped mountains, chiffon saris (neatly flying in the wind), clean scrubbed dudes, Karwachauth and the likes. Not that it’s a problem really, if done correctly.

So we are introduced to a ‘I love, eat, sleep, live Mills & Boon fairy tales’ film production designer Simran (Sonam Kapoor) and ‘Girls = Dates = one night stand ONLY” assistant director (Imran Khan) who in true tradition of Bolly-rom-coms are at polar extremes on the concept of Love and all the good things that go with it. They bicker, snicker, and make their displeasure at each others view very evident. Opposites are bound to attract, and as in most cases, since it is a one-side thing, we wait till the end of the movie for the second side (read: Jay) to connect to it. No jigsaw puzzle this one! The boy-girl have to make up their mind if indeed Mr Wrong is Mr Right or Mr Right is Mr Wrong, while hot shot investment banker boyfriend Raj (Sammir Dattani) keeps himself busy sending a flower daily, booking the fanciest restaurant, planning the perfect proposal, all the while waiting patiently, looking dull, confused and bored.

Yet again, by the end of it all, Imran finds himself in the last-ditch airport scene, and has to inform of his riveting revelation to the heroine. Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, anyone? Hope Imran does not make this a habit that spills onto his real life as well!

The movie comes from a director/writer who openly professes his revulsion for all things ‘love’, which is quite the irony since the movie ends up being just that - an out-&-out love story. Punit Malhotra having spent considerable amount of time under the conscientious guidance of Karan Johar, knows grandeur, massive sets at the back of his hand and uses that factor to his best advantage. This coupled with sequences of wine-n-dine, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, getting wet in the rain, now like-now hate, ‘lets be good friends’ confused conversations (which I have a feeling Mr. Malhotra has personally experienced-`n’-endured) make for an innocent and relative watch and you can actually hear ooh’s-aah’s-awww amidst the “hey, I have also been through this s***’ confessions in the audience.

‘I Hate Luv Storys’ is outrightly predictable, with dollops of mush and overflowing emotions. But it’s the simple yet fresh presentation that makes it hatke, and not make you cringe in your seat. Now having a movie-within-a-movie is no mean feat, but Punit manages it decently keeping the whole fare above the average mark. The glitch here is that it has way too much of Karan Johar scribbled all over it, thus stealing Punit’s individuality.

Direction, well-learnt at the ‘Johar institution’ is eloquent, to the point and helps both characters reach a level of sensibility. Dialogues, a mish-mash of cute quips & charming one-liners are random, today and quite in sync. The comic scenes stay true to the rom-com genre. On the other hand, the writing could definitely use some heavy improvement. I wouldn’t mind if the movie had extended an extra half hour, but as a whole the movie should have been a little more spaced out and shuffled especially some clichéd re-enacted scenes and songs wherein they kind of all toppled over one another. Good effort for the first time though!

The movie is well festooned by Vishal-Shekhar’s musical chartbusters, which have already been well received.  Ditto for Salim-Suleiman’s background score which keeps you up and cheerful for most of the time. Scenic beauty is well-captured and cinematographer Ayananka Bose, who recently proved his mettle in ‘Kites’ will find him in the top league hereon.

Imran and Sonam make a fine pair, not sizzling, just fine. No over-the-top chemistry, bonding to an extent of killing the passion, too many stolen glances, leaves much to the audience desire. Samir Soni as a certain-high profile director justifies the casting director’s choice; Aamir Ali is well placed and performs with ease. But the hiccup is Sammir Dattani, who unfortunately despite being as talented as he is, is not given the platform he deserves. By the time the story moves ahead, he is lost, displaced and sadly nobody really cares. A very special mention to Kavin Dave, (who in the smooth extension of his role from Rishta.com to IHLS), carries his act as Imran’s friend with earnest performance and some steal worthy scenes.

The thing about the movie that appeals the most is the ‘real’ feel to it. As an audience, you could be in any corner of the world and you will be truly able to identify and relate to Jay & Simran. Anyone who has been even remotely close to a film-set culture, would smile inwardly while watching the movie for the sheer comfort to the familial setting and characters (except for the glamour part, for which Manish Malhotra is highly laudable, but trust me no film crew would be able to look so fashionable in reality).

The silver lining is that the film makes for a decent everyday flick, because just like love it's neither perfect nor imperfect which is completely enjoyable. You'll begin to wonder if there was any sense to the film at all only once the screening is over because while the movie is on you will be over-occupied indulging in it!

I Hate Luv Storys definitely will not feature in my list of “favourite love err ‘luv’ movies” but it does make for an entertaining watch because of its soulful music, refreshing duo of Imran-Sonam and the overall Dharma King of Romance Karan Johar’s proverbial ‘Midas’ touch.

Go for it if you are a hopeless romantic or simply a huge fan of any name associated with the movie. If you’re dragging your better half to make them ’fall in’ or ‘fall out’ of love, haha, Tough Luck! This film is not going to help! If you’re expecting it to impart ‘gyaan’ or have a moral-of-the-story ending, you’re looking at the wrong film. Neither can you expect twists and turns to give you an adrenaline rush. Grab a tub of the popcorn, tag along a couple of friends, sit back and relax.

Final Verdict: Fulltooo Timepass! Dil ‘Bahara Bahara’ ho gaya!!

"Politics Personified" - Raajneeti Movie Review.

We are surrounded by it. Furtively consumed by it. We have little choice but to live with it. Politics is a vicious arena, we hear about it, talk about it, yet consider ignoring it. Prakash Jha picks enthralling subjects Mahabharata & Politics, entwines them together and the outcome is an anecdote of a complex & dirty game, one that is camouflaged with lies, lust, deceit, vengeance, all for a menacing attainment of POWER. 

Celebrate the return of meaningful cinema. Lately, Bollywood has surrendered itself to scripts that are held on a string and dipped in slapstick humor with nil importance to story or characterization. Raajneeti is a sign that superior cinema still exists and comes as a fresh breeze amidst the flurry of mindless films.

The film is about the feud between the kin of the Pratap family for the political throne. When senior leader Bhanu Pratap is bed-ridden after a stroke, his younger brother Chandra Pratap and nephew Prithvi Pratap (Arjun Rampal) are considered the obvious successor. This is challenged by son Veerendra Pratap (Manoj Bajpayee), who deemed himself the rightful heir. Enter Suraj (Ajay Devgn), a dalit leader with poor upbringing but lofty political ambitions. Veerendra teams up with Suraj to form an association that will impede rival cousin Prithvi’svision of rising to power. An untimely assassination and other unfortunate incidents compel Prithvi’s younger brother Samar (Ranbir Kapoor, ‘an outcast to politics’) to abandon his academic dreams at NYU, leave American girlfriend Sara (Sara Thompson) & move back home in order to hold together the reins of the supremacy. Articulately, Samar masters the rules of the game under the guidance of mentor Brij Gopal (Nana Patekar), power moving positions swiftly like a game of chess, leaving behind a blood strewn path because power comes at the price of bloodshed, backstabbing and treachery. Caught in the mesh is Indu (Katrina Kaif), rich princess, Samar’s childhood friend who adores him and is willing to go lengths to support him. Entirely exhilarating treat.

Will the naïve & innocuous Samar survive the warfare? Will Suraj’s past catch up with him? Who will outlive and how the forces of greed and growth consumes the family forms the crux of the movie.

Director Prakash Jha depicts the sad state of Indian politics where ambition envelopes emotion, greed crushes morals, and victory is imperative even if it comes at the cost of misusing or sacrificing relationships. Jha who has had insider exposure, having fought elections himself from Bihar, knows his subject distinctly and paints the entire canvas admirably giving every actor his due. Reliably supported by Anjum Rajabali on screenplay, Raajneeti compels the viewer to stay alert and puts into perspective the thin line that defines good from bad. By the end of it, you are not sure who the hero is or the villain. Every character expertly transforms to match the pace of the movie and borders on shades of grey.

Raajneeti draws its base references from Godfather and Mahabharata, but retains a soul of its own. If you are expecting to cross-refer subplots from the two sources, you are in for a shocker. The film grasps you and keeps you delightedly engaged. Although the 3hr length could have felt stretched & gone completely off beam, thankfully it didn’t. The story adjusts relentlessly & unravels twists that leave you in awe. The cadence is just perfect and not aggressive; the screenplay is subtle yet very commanding.

The entire cast connects to the film as if tailor-made but bonus brownie praises for Ranbir, Arjun & Manoj Bajpayee. Ranbir Kapoor delivers a mature superlative performance & once again reminds us of the proud lineage he belongs to.  Never going over the top, he plays ‘Samar’ with ease and doesn’t look like he is trying too hard. Manoj Bajpayee is brilliant. He expertly blends into the character & the viewer is left with images of Veerendra Pratap, who is a conniving, iniquitous and very convincing. Nana Patekar is admirable. His reactions are outstanding and lets his expressions do most of the talking. Ajay Devgn is effective, proves his prowess but does not have much scope to go beyond something he has not already done. Katrina Kaif displays an improvement, hardwork on diction shows, shimmers in her chemistry with Ranbir. National Award? Cannot really say these days. However, the icing on the cake and definitely the scene-stealer for me is Arjun Rampal, a revelation, confident, assured, commanding screen presence, nuanced and a welcome surprise.

From the moment the film opens, the audience is sucked into a cinematic frenzy coupled with a plot that is a serious cine-goers delight. Having said that, the movie is not executed perfectly to the T and has its share of visible loose ends. Scenes like Suraj’s confrontation with his mother, some of the violent killings, love scenes should have been crisper to draw viewers’ empathy. Luckily, the casts’ stellar performance, gripping dialogues and technical brilliance distracts one from these minor lapses, which then seem like a speck. 

Raajneeti doesn’t show anything about politics that the viewer doesn’t already know. Yet Prakash Jha has handled the technicalities of this opus deftly bound to leave the common man fascinated. In short, Raajneeti is a gripping shrewd take on politics “as it is”- multi-layered, ruthless; inhuman that leaves a solid impact. It is worth watching for its thrilling narration, transparency & overall celluloid luminosity.

And for all those who don’t think likewise, Im positive Mr Jha would have a fitting reply. “Kararra Jawaab Milega.”

Not flying colours... Kites Movie Review.

I know I'm late and by this time, you have either seen the movie or have made up your mind not to watch it. Also, by now trade pundits are calculating & re-calculating BO figures to put together a verdict. But in some parts of the globe, unfazed fans of Hrithik Roshan are queuing up for repeat viewing of the movie. Jr. Roshan, bleeding, distraught, sandy, yet managing to look drool-worthy yummylicious is the stuff we fans live for. As much as I (too!) was tempted, the movie aficionado in me wanted more.

2.5 yrs in the making, big names, big budget, bigger hype and colossal expectations. Regrettably, Kites just doesn't go that high, although this Anurag Basu's directorial extravaganza had all the potential. So why didn't it make the cut? Read further...

Plot: Though there isn't much to write here - Our hero J (Joseph? jimmy? johnny?), who marries girls to get them a green card in barter for hard cash, is engaged to Gina(Kangana), daughter of rich casino owner, Bob(Kabir Bedi). Gina's brother Tony(Nick Brown) is engaged to Natasha/Linda(Mori). Cut to few scenes & a dance routine later, J and Natasha meet, sparks fly, passionate glances stolen à la Romeo-Juliet, and bam! we have a love square formed. Anyone who has seen Woody Allen's 'Match Point' will catch up with me faster. Others, don't fret, you haven't missed anything majorly. OK, back to our movie - J and Linda cant keep their eyes off each other, want to stay together forever and decide to elope. Predictable Bolly movie you ask? Uh-huh! Twist - they don't speak each others language Spanish/English. Twist to the twisted tale = J and Linda are sort-of already married (remember J's green card wives!). Anyhoo, J and Linda ditch their fiances (they were marrying the rich kids for the money anyways, no luv-shuv), grab the money and head for greener pastures. While the villains pull all chains to track them, our international Bunty-Babli gasp, chuckle, jump off hot air balloons, dive into seas, rob a bank, indulge in car chases as if taking on an adventurous sport, sing-dance, take language lessons, and give their trackers the royal slip. Amidst all the mayhem that follows, they sneak in and out of jungle, share a kiss or two, much at the expense of the audience.Tony finally catches up with them. What happens next? It's for me to know and you to find out.

Kites is an earnestly made film. It had everything going for it. Luscious pairing, captivating visuals, stimulating cinematography and some very interesting scenes make up a strong base. But then everything falls apart. When Hrithik says "Pakao, Pakao", you are coaxed to believe that he almost knows what he is talking about. 

Barbara and Hrithik are in my opinion the most alluring pairing till date. They compliment each other and Rakesh Roshan's choice in Mori is justified. Barbara's endearing smile matches Hrithik's intensity and in all means the lead pair try to make Kites fly. But the writers forgot that with all the chemistry and perfect scenes, there was a story to be taken forward. Kangana, every director's dream girl for psychotic character, is misused. She came and went just like that and no-one seemed upset. Kabir Bedi plays his role with the 'been-there-done-that' sophistication. Nick Brown is so-so, knows what he's doing.

Kites is a clear case of 'too many cooks spoil the dish'. With the track records that Basu and Roshan's have, you pray for something rather extraordinary but you have to settle for something much much less. In continuation to my earlier post (read here), the movie is as confused as I am about what it wants to be. Fingers crossed, you hope that something jumps out and rationalizes your time's worth, but hardly a scene stays with you. (yeah mayb Hrithik's glances for some of you!) All in all, Kites is a watch in comparison to the movies released off late. Go for it once, since its got a piece of something for everyone. Kaipoche! anyone??