Review 'We are Family' -'kyunki Dharma bhi kabhi acchi picture banata tha!'

Bollywood continues its tryst of adopting firangi scripts adding desi garam masala to satiate the supposedly naive Indian audience (or is it the NRI segment) and then proudly walk an international carpet as an ambassador for Indian cinema. Blah! Let me make it clear – I don’t have any issues with remakes. Some of the adapted works are truly commendable. What I do detest is filmmakers choosing an Indian family, adding Indian sentiments, tailoring it to fit Indian sensibilities and then giving them a firang setting. Why couldn’t the family reside in Indian metropolis? Do we not have the visual allure? Blasphemous! 

Anyhoo… Another week, another remake. Only this one screams, stamps, legitimate, permissions et al.

Johar & co. finally bored, rid of the copious NY setting (or possibly USA took offence & refused to let them shoot there anymore). So this time we move to another continent of sun & sand where resides Aman (Arjun Rampal) & Maya (Kajol) with their kids Aaleya , Ankush and Anjali. Add to it Dharma’s favourite ingredients of now hot-now cold relationships, extra marital affair, adjusting to daddy’s new life, oops!-wala  sudden medical diagnosis, and the audience is taken through a square four sided love-hate tale to an ending so appalling that you want to say ‘picture abhi baaki nahi honi chahiye’.

The mood is glum, ‘I don’t want to die’ is the mantra of the dying mum but because it’s a movie out of KJO’s stable, glam dikhna or elvis ishtyle dance karna toh banta hai boss. 

Just because they credit the film to its original Chris Columbus' Stepmom (1998) Scriptwriter Venita Coelho (why did the movie need one anyways?) & debutant director Siddharth Malhotra (offcourse he assisted Karan during his heydays! How else would he get the right to dish such absurd stuff?!?) refuse to let audience indulge in brain teasers of any sort. The entire film from the word go is lifted scene-by-scene, laid down on a golden platter with nothing new to boast of. Copied scenes (oops sorry adapted) in the film are countless and in your face every time you turn around, which makes you feel bored and edgy because its predictable which path the film is going. By the time the film staggers to a melodramatic a la Ekta Kapoor style ending, you steal a quick glance at your watch wondering how many years actually passed away. Booo-ringgg!

Yes, the performances border on the thin line tilting towards good, but the treatment of the subject is devoid of any warmth, which doesn’t arouse any compassion or interest at all. Moreover, if you thought that wasn’t enough, Iyengar’s corny dialogues laced with Karan Johar’s artificial sweetener touches is the final recipe for doom. OUCH!

Pray do tell - what exactly is Siddharth Malhotra’s idea of family?!? Obviously, he wasn’t considering the audience as a part of it.

Verdict: For those who have watched Stepmom, stay AWAY from this one.

For those who haven’t seen stepmom, stay away as well. Catch any of the saas-bahu epi’s or go watch ‘Kal Ho Naa Ho’ just for SRK’s ‘I am dying of cancer but won’t let its fear kill me’.

On second thoughts – What is with all our filmmakers wanting to kill the leads with the dreaded C-word.. Haven’t they met/heard about survivors Lisa Ray, Barbara Mori?! Among the other millions who fight it every day.